you say you want a resolution

winter solstice snow

thyme under snow

Like so many others, I look at the new year with fresh eyes and as an opportunity to make changes. I like to evaluate myself and my life a bit, consider what I haven’t done and what I would like to do and, most importantly, who I am as a whole. I feel out how to merge the facts with the intended future.

This last year, I tried to shift my thinking about where I have to be in my life to do a variety of things. For instance, I found myself often thinking, “when I am not in pain (or have more energy), I can/will … ” I began to realize that I was banking my future on the unknown and not working toward a solution. Something that I had largely left behind in my cloud of ill health was entertaining at home. Throughout most of my adult life, I’d thrown somewhat large thrice-yearly parties, plus other get-togethers with friends or family on a regular basis. It waned over the course of the last dozen years, until it virtually stopped. In the spring of 2011, I applied a new mode of thinking to this area. I gingerly began to host friends and family. It continued straight through to the holidays and I am so glad that I just did it. True, what once took me two days now takes a week, but at least I have that knowledge and I’m gentle with myself about the fact that this is how things best work.

I look forward to hosting a great many more gatherings in the coming year.

My future in 2012 seems very open, like a blank notebook. (Oh, my fetish for new diaries and ledgers is beyond measure!) I do like this image of my new year, a fresh and clean pad of paper, a daybook just waiting to be filled with my thoughts and movements through a day, my hustled and harried adventures, the ill-begotten messes and stretches of mundane, a sampling of moments, a glimpse of any day.

 

6 comments to you say you want a resolution

  • I love that blank-page kind of mindset. Happy beginnings to you. And what’s that — snow? I hear it’s coming to NYS tonight!

    • jodi

      I have to admit that these photos are from December 22. The snow has been terribly unremarkable thus far. We had two snowfalls of several inches each, once in November and again in December. Boo, hiss!

      I hope that you get enough snow to make it beautiful, but not enough to impede your activities.

  • I know you must be missing your snow Jodi. I’m always so relieved that a new year has started that I’m bursting with happiness. I guess it is the whole “new start” thing, or glad the holiday’s are behind me or… maybe just happy I’m still here :-)

    Darla

  • The entire world, a blank slate, love that. My brain a blank slate, not a great feeling, hoping it will start moving soon! ;-)

    Happy New Year to you and yours!

  • “I began to realize that I was banking my future on the unknown and not working toward a solution.”

    Jodi, I appreciate that you have realized this and made changes. I need to do the same.
    Happy New Year!
    ~Karen

  • Enjoy the blank notebook. :-)
    I’m looking forward to see what the new year brings as well.

    Peace!

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